We haven't gotten an update in forever...........

SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm alive still, so are the others, but the season is still a couple months away... :(((((((((

I cannot WAIT for this season, it's gonna be great!

Who else is excited???

Comment below what you're most excited about!

         ~The Sexy Saxophone

Reader Submission ~ The Trumpets Have Problems

My friend is a trumpet player and she had a pretty ratty trumpet. It was literally falling apart and she had to get it taped multiple times. Right before our last performance, which was TOB Championships, her trumpet literally broke in half. Luckily, there was still a few minutes before we went on so she got some electrical tape from the drumline but she almost went on the field with half of a trumpet...

Submitted by That One Bassoonist....

It's so fun to hear about issues with the trumpets...It makes me feel like the saxophones are somewhat normal.               
         ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Concert Week

Bonjour amigos! As the year is coming to a close, band stuff ramps up. For me, and I'm assuming for y'all too, this is concert week. Although it's fun and exciting and you get to show off all your hard work, its torture on your schedule. My schedule thus follows...

Monday: Symphonic band rehearsal and jazz band concert

Tuesday: Indoor drumline rehearsal

Wednesday: Indoor drumline rehearsal, and also I have to help set up and clean up for a Latin party so I can get 2nd quarter project credit

Thursday: Symphonic band concert

Friday: WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL!!!!

So yeah this week is busy and I have no time to do anything. At least I get to spend the weekend in a painkiller induced daze...

But actually kids don't do drugs...

-Sultan of Swing

Favorite Camp/Rehearsal/Competition Stories?

Every band kid has at least a few great band stories. Here are a few of mine, but you should share yours in the comments or email them to us at thebandhasproblems@gmail.com, and if we like them, there's a chance for you to have yours published on the blog!

The Drunk GuyDuring one of our August rehearsals, we were on our practice field, which happens to be right next to two neighborhoods. Now, it was only about 4:00 PM. A guy was wobbling around in the neighborhood right across the road from our Side 2 endzone. He kept yelling stuff at us, claiming we were 'insulting his illness' or something. My BD didn't see him, but me and all the other side two baritones did. We told our staff, but but the time the could do anything, this dude was on our field, yelling and getting pretty close to our members. Our Choreography instructor yelled to one of our BD's to call 911, when the guy threw his drink all over one of our clarinets. Our BD flipped on the guy and yelled until he got off the field. Nothing happened to me specifically, but he was like 10 feet from me. It was terrifying.

The Slip-n-SlideI'll start this one by saying that my band's practice field sucks. Not just sucks, but reeeaaally sucks. There are little ditches everywhere, the grass is totally gone in some spots, and the field somehow shifts a lot, throwing off our hashes like crazy. It rains quite a bit here in Illinois, by the way. Our band is also pretty stupid, in that about 40 of us decided to do the ALS Bucket challenge... right on the 50. The day before a practice. Smart right? Anyways, the next day, it rained again. The field was literally a mud pool slip n' slide. Anyways, I fell in the mud twice that day. The first time, I was messing rith my friend and jumping around when i fell flat on my butt in a puddle of mud. Guess who looked like she had crapped her pants? This gal! I was kinda upset at first, but then I realized that it was just mud, and there was nothing i could do about it. So I had fun, running around and whatever. The second time was even funnier. We were doing a full run. During our second act, the brass would do a feature in which there's a 32 count spiral-ish jazzrun in the the middle of the field. During the middle of said jazzrun, the contra player, one of my good friends, who was a few people ahead of me, totally wipes out in the mud. Of course, I start laughing, lose my footing, and theoretically slide straight at him. I was so close to hitting him, but I didn't. At that point, my BD was laughing to hard to continue, so he let us out early. But yeah, I got a bit dirty.

The Bread FairyBefore Grand Nats, our band parents hosted a little dinner for us. Pizza, Pasta, bread, deserts, etc.. Anyways, we had waaaaay too much bread. They were literally giving half loaves of bread to each kid. The worst part? The bread was stale. So what do a bunch of band/guard kids do with 20 loaves of stale bread? Well, one of the boys in our guard decided he'd take it upon himself to find a use for this bread, so he put it in his garment bag. Guess what he brought to the hotel in Indy? His garment bag. Guess what was still in his garment bag? The bread. So, he did what any teenage boy would do. At about midnight, he started walking around the boys' floor, anonymously leaving bread outside the doors of unsuspecting band guys. Literally no one knew who was doing it, so we named them the bread fairy! One of our drum majors decided to find the culprit, but the evidence kept disappearing. Where was it going? The stomach of a freshman clarinet player. This kid was going door to door, retrieving and eating all the stale bread. I had 6 different people text me asking if I'd received my bread. no one found out who it was until a few days later.

But remember...What happens in band...STAYS IN BAND.

xo Baritone Babe ox

Reader Submission ~ "Did It Hurt When You Fell From Band?"

Abut 8 years ago, we had stands that were wooden. So during one football game, the football team scored a touchdown and the band director started conducting. He noticed the Sousaphone section was missing. Turns out the Sousa players fell through the stands, taking a few trumpets with them.

Submitted by That Bassoonist Over There.

The poor trumpets...Always getting into treble with the bass. 

       ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Got a band story? Or just a problem in your band that you want to share?  Well if you do, email your stories/problems to thebandhasproblems@gmail.com and we might feature your story on the blog!!! 

The Reason I Became An Altoist...

HELLO! I thought I would share with you the story that pretty much describes my existence.  

So this one time in the beginning of the marching season...

We had one alto player.  That's basically why they abducted me.  Plus, we had 8 flutes at the time.  One of these flutes wasn't anybody's favorite.  Now I won't call people out because that's rude, but this flute player was by far the worst.  "You're in the wrong spot!" I wouldn't be if you weren't on my dot.  "I'm playing it right though!" In your head, maybe...  You see my dilemma?  Yeah?

That's why I play Alto Sax.  

Plus it's way saxier than flute... :3

             ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Section Stereotypes As Per My Experiences

I'm in class right now, but why not make a post? I already finished my work anyways.. So here are some personality stereo types I've developed over my five years in band. These aren't meant to offend anyone, it's all for fun.

Flutes: Ditsy, flirty, forgetful, bubbly. Basically, the same as a typical blonde. Maybe that's why no ones ever surprised that I'm a flute. Every single time someone asks what instrument I play, flute is there first guess. 

Clarinets: Know-it-alls. Tend to suck up to the BDs. Most are pretty good musicians, but there's the occasional idiot who forgets their music/instrument ALL THE TIME. 

Oboes: Annoying. They often sound like dying cats. They also try to suck up, and the BD usually lets them do whatever because there's only like 2 of them.

Bassoons: Cool, but rude. They often sound like farts. We nicknamed the bassoon in my middle school band "the farting bedpost." Bassoons are rare creatures, and are usually some of the best musicians.

Saxophones: Kids that are "too cool" for clarinet. They also act like know-it-alls. Pretty cool, though. Worst tanlines though. 

French horns/Mellos: Loud, annoying, sometimes stupid. Always forgetting their music. Rarely, there's one that knows all their music and sits quietly. If you find a good one, NEVER LET THEM GO!

Trumpets: Egotistical and too-good-for-you. Think they're the best in the band, even though most of them suck. There are some pretty awesome trumpets though. The trumpets are divided into two groups: The snotty ones and the cool ones. The snotty trumpets think they're the coolest thing ever, whereas the cool ones are down to earth and chill with other sections. 

Trombones: Along with the tubas, they're the most perverted in the band. They are immature and forget their music. A lot of them forget their slide positions. (No wonder people think I'll make a great trombone)

Baritones: immature, perverted, flirty, and generally really close. They talk a lot and tend to be protective of one another. Tend to go hand-in-hand with the trombones and tubas. 

Tubas: perverted and immature just like the trombones. Tend to get yelled at a lot. Pretty greatat their instruments, though. They're pretty much the backbone of the sound.

Percussion/Pit/Drumline: secluded from pretty much everyone. The pit gets to stay inside for most of marching season. They're generally really good. Still wishing my fifth grade band director let me do percussion ;-;

So whatcha think? Pretty spot on? Any changes? Any sections I missed? Let me know in the comments!

xo Baritone Babe ox