Reader Submission ~ The Trumpets Have Problems

My friend is a trumpet player and she had a pretty ratty trumpet. It was literally falling apart and she had to get it taped multiple times. Right before our last performance, which was TOB Championships, her trumpet literally broke in half. Luckily, there was still a few minutes before we went on so she got some electrical tape from the drumline but she almost went on the field with half of a trumpet...

Submitted by That One Bassoonist....

It's so fun to hear about issues with the trumpets...It makes me feel like the saxophones are somewhat normal.               
         ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Concert Week

Bonjour amigos! As the year is coming to a close, band stuff ramps up. For me, and I'm assuming for y'all too, this is concert week. Although it's fun and exciting and you get to show off all your hard work, its torture on your schedule. My schedule thus follows...

Monday: Symphonic band rehearsal and jazz band concert

Tuesday: Indoor drumline rehearsal

Wednesday: Indoor drumline rehearsal, and also I have to help set up and clean up for a Latin party so I can get 2nd quarter project credit

Thursday: Symphonic band concert

Friday: WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL!!!!

So yeah this week is busy and I have no time to do anything. At least I get to spend the weekend in a painkiller induced daze...

But actually kids don't do drugs...

-Sultan of Swing

Favorite Camp/Rehearsal/Competition Stories?

Every band kid has at least a few great band stories. Here are a few of mine, but you should share yours in the comments or email them to us at thebandhasproblems@gmail.com, and if we like them, there's a chance for you to have yours published on the blog!

The Drunk GuyDuring one of our August rehearsals, we were on our practice field, which happens to be right next to two neighborhoods. Now, it was only about 4:00 PM. A guy was wobbling around in the neighborhood right across the road from our Side 2 endzone. He kept yelling stuff at us, claiming we were 'insulting his illness' or something. My BD didn't see him, but me and all the other side two baritones did. We told our staff, but but the time the could do anything, this dude was on our field, yelling and getting pretty close to our members. Our Choreography instructor yelled to one of our BD's to call 911, when the guy threw his drink all over one of our clarinets. Our BD flipped on the guy and yelled until he got off the field. Nothing happened to me specifically, but he was like 10 feet from me. It was terrifying.

The Slip-n-SlideI'll start this one by saying that my band's practice field sucks. Not just sucks, but reeeaaally sucks. There are little ditches everywhere, the grass is totally gone in some spots, and the field somehow shifts a lot, throwing off our hashes like crazy. It rains quite a bit here in Illinois, by the way. Our band is also pretty stupid, in that about 40 of us decided to do the ALS Bucket challenge... right on the 50. The day before a practice. Smart right? Anyways, the next day, it rained again. The field was literally a mud pool slip n' slide. Anyways, I fell in the mud twice that day. The first time, I was messing rith my friend and jumping around when i fell flat on my butt in a puddle of mud. Guess who looked like she had crapped her pants? This gal! I was kinda upset at first, but then I realized that it was just mud, and there was nothing i could do about it. So I had fun, running around and whatever. The second time was even funnier. We were doing a full run. During our second act, the brass would do a feature in which there's a 32 count spiral-ish jazzrun in the the middle of the field. During the middle of said jazzrun, the contra player, one of my good friends, who was a few people ahead of me, totally wipes out in the mud. Of course, I start laughing, lose my footing, and theoretically slide straight at him. I was so close to hitting him, but I didn't. At that point, my BD was laughing to hard to continue, so he let us out early. But yeah, I got a bit dirty.

The Bread FairyBefore Grand Nats, our band parents hosted a little dinner for us. Pizza, Pasta, bread, deserts, etc.. Anyways, we had waaaaay too much bread. They were literally giving half loaves of bread to each kid. The worst part? The bread was stale. So what do a bunch of band/guard kids do with 20 loaves of stale bread? Well, one of the boys in our guard decided he'd take it upon himself to find a use for this bread, so he put it in his garment bag. Guess what he brought to the hotel in Indy? His garment bag. Guess what was still in his garment bag? The bread. So, he did what any teenage boy would do. At about midnight, he started walking around the boys' floor, anonymously leaving bread outside the doors of unsuspecting band guys. Literally no one knew who was doing it, so we named them the bread fairy! One of our drum majors decided to find the culprit, but the evidence kept disappearing. Where was it going? The stomach of a freshman clarinet player. This kid was going door to door, retrieving and eating all the stale bread. I had 6 different people text me asking if I'd received my bread. no one found out who it was until a few days later.

But remember...What happens in band...STAYS IN BAND.

xo Baritone Babe ox

Reader Submission ~ "Did It Hurt When You Fell From Band?"

Abut 8 years ago, we had stands that were wooden. So during one football game, the football team scored a touchdown and the band director started conducting. He noticed the Sousaphone section was missing. Turns out the Sousa players fell through the stands, taking a few trumpets with them.

Submitted by That Bassoonist Over There.

The poor trumpets...Always getting into treble with the bass. 

       ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Got a band story? Or just a problem in your band that you want to share?  Well if you do, email your stories/problems to thebandhasproblems@gmail.com and we might feature your story on the blog!!! 

The Reason I Became An Altoist...

HELLO! I thought I would share with you the story that pretty much describes my existence.  

So this one time in the beginning of the marching season...

We had one alto player.  That's basically why they abducted me.  Plus, we had 8 flutes at the time.  One of these flutes wasn't anybody's favorite.  Now I won't call people out because that's rude, but this flute player was by far the worst.  "You're in the wrong spot!" I wouldn't be if you weren't on my dot.  "I'm playing it right though!" In your head, maybe...  You see my dilemma?  Yeah?

That's why I play Alto Sax.  

Plus it's way saxier than flute... :3

             ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Section Stereotypes As Per My Experiences

I'm in class right now, but why not make a post? I already finished my work anyways.. So here are some personality stereo types I've developed over my five years in band. These aren't meant to offend anyone, it's all for fun.

Flutes: Ditsy, flirty, forgetful, bubbly. Basically, the same as a typical blonde. Maybe that's why no ones ever surprised that I'm a flute. Every single time someone asks what instrument I play, flute is there first guess. 

Clarinets: Know-it-alls. Tend to suck up to the BDs. Most are pretty good musicians, but there's the occasional idiot who forgets their music/instrument ALL THE TIME. 

Oboes: Annoying. They often sound like dying cats. They also try to suck up, and the BD usually lets them do whatever because there's only like 2 of them.

Bassoons: Cool, but rude. They often sound like farts. We nicknamed the bassoon in my middle school band "the farting bedpost." Bassoons are rare creatures, and are usually some of the best musicians.

Saxophones: Kids that are "too cool" for clarinet. They also act like know-it-alls. Pretty cool, though. Worst tanlines though. 

French horns/Mellos: Loud, annoying, sometimes stupid. Always forgetting their music. Rarely, there's one that knows all their music and sits quietly. If you find a good one, NEVER LET THEM GO!

Trumpets: Egotistical and too-good-for-you. Think they're the best in the band, even though most of them suck. There are some pretty awesome trumpets though. The trumpets are divided into two groups: The snotty ones and the cool ones. The snotty trumpets think they're the coolest thing ever, whereas the cool ones are down to earth and chill with other sections. 

Trombones: Along with the tubas, they're the most perverted in the band. They are immature and forget their music. A lot of them forget their slide positions. (No wonder people think I'll make a great trombone)

Baritones: immature, perverted, flirty, and generally really close. They talk a lot and tend to be protective of one another. Tend to go hand-in-hand with the trombones and tubas. 

Tubas: perverted and immature just like the trombones. Tend to get yelled at a lot. Pretty greatat their instruments, though. They're pretty much the backbone of the sound.

Percussion/Pit/Drumline: secluded from pretty much everyone. The pit gets to stay inside for most of marching season. They're generally really good. Still wishing my fifth grade band director let me do percussion ;-;

So whatcha think? Pretty spot on? Any changes? Any sections I missed? Let me know in the comments!

xo Baritone Babe ox

Band Parents

Ya know who doesn't get enough credit? Band parents.

Marching band would not be possible without them. They take time out of their days to make our lives easier. Whether its giving us sunscreen at band camp, or loading the truck when we go to competitions, or organizing fundraisers, they are always there for us.

I cannot stress this enough. They are like the t.v. crew of band, the behind-the-scenes people who keep everything running. Their efforts often go unnoticed and underappreciated.

At the end of every marching season, my band has a banquet (organized in majority by parents). The staff does paper plate awards, one of them being the "Bennett Black Memorial Award for Equipment Excellence." This year, that award was given to the band parents. They are there every Saturday to get the truck loaded so we can leave for our competition sooner, and are there after to unload so we get home sooner.

I say yet again, band would not be possible without parent volunteers. We need to thank and appreciate them more than we already do now, because they deserve it.

-Sultan of Swing

But weren't you a flute player?

Up until this past summer, I was only a flute and piano player. I wanted to start on trumpet or on trombone, but I didn't have the money to buy one. In all honesty, I had 0 interest in ever marching flute. I auditioned for color guard. According to our guard instructor, I was good, I was more suited for the band. So, he told my director to give me a call and ask about getting me in the band. The next day I get a call from my director.

"So, we were wondering if you wanted to join the band... but not as a flute player... as a baritone. You don't need to know anything, we'll give you everything you need. You just need to show up... What do you say? You can have a day or two to decide if you need." I looked at my mom who was listening via speakerphone. "Tell him you need to think about it." She mouthed.

"I'll do it. When do we start?" I smiled.

"Good choice. We'll email you the information on camps and everything. I'll see you soon then!" He said.

"Yeah, you will. Bye!" I had no idea what I just signed myself up for.

I started summer practices about three weeks later.

I had a brand new instrument to learn, as well as a whole new sport to learn.

I had just put waaayy too much on my plate.

But that was easily the best decision I have ever made.

xo Baritone Babe ox

Band Camp Burns

You know how you get sunburns at band camp? Well... This one time, I got a really bad sunburn at this outdoor fundraiser in June, and by the week of band camp, it was completely gone.

I bet you can figure out what happened next.

At band camp, I got a sunburn.  Another really bad one.  My neck, arms, and everything that was not covered with my t shirt and shorts/shoes was bright red.  

Have you ever gotten sunburns, really bad ones, within 2 months of each other? It really hurts.  I spent the week after band camp taking whole tubes of aloe and using them - basically going through a tube a day.  Well, every other day.  

All in all, it was a lot of aloe.  These sunburns meant that the first week of my 8th grade year, I was uncomfortable and sunburned.  So yeah.

      ~The Sexy Saxophone~

Parades Suck.

I'm one of those kids that will wish... and wish... and wish... that I could march the Macy's thanksgiving parade. But in complete truth, I HATE marching parades. In the summer ones, we have to wear our maroon marching band polos, and khakis. We look like zoo keepers with instruments. It's horrific..

But today, I've got another parade. I live in the Chicago area, were it is freaking cold out. The real-fell outside right now is 22 degrees. Guess who's wearing four pairs of pants under her bibber? THIS GAL!

Anyways, this is gonna suck. At practice on Tuesday, it was 30 degrees and my valves froze solid in under 15 minutes.

can't freaking wait.

And even worse, we're performing christmas music.

I hate my life.

But the thing that makes it all okay...

My mom is buying me handwarmers and starbucks.

xo Baritone Babe ox

Reader Submission ~ Mouthpiece Madness

So this one time when I was a freshman, I dropped my mouthpiece on the floor during music block and the section leader kind of fake glared at me and said, "Shauna..." And one of the section leaders friends turned to my section leader, took his plastic mouthpiece out, and flat out dropped it on the floor and my section leader gasped and kicked it halfway across music block when my director was talking the clarinets and he had to go get it.


     ~Submitted by Shauna~

Christmas Music

Greatings mes amis, I'm Sultan of Swing. As you guys can see, this is my first post, so now that it is officially the holiday season, I'm posting about Christmas music. In my opinion it is the most annoying thing ever. I can appreciate that people enjoy it and that its pretty much unavoidable, it kinda grinds my gears. Its repetitive, and I have to play it (I'm assuming most of the other bands do). We play Christmas stuff in jazz band, and everyone gets really into it, and I sit there and grumble. HOWEVER, it really grows on you, and I'm learning to enjoy it. Its a process, but I'm just happy to be there and make music with friends. I find myself whistling Christmas tunes to myself, and I kinda chuckle because I used to despise it. So yeah, that's my story.

Once again, I am Sultan of Swing, and I'm looking forward to posting more on this blog!

Why I'm Thankful for Band

Baritone Babe here!

This is my first post on the blog, and I had no clue what to write. So, I asked the other bloggers for an idea. Sultan of Swing suggested I make a post about what band things I'm thankful for. Here goes!

Obviously, I'm thankful for my instruments. Now, I just so happen to be one of those people that names my instruments. My baritone is Poppy, my flute is Pippy, and my piano/keyboard thing is Parker. I'm getting my very first trombone sometime soon, and I'm thinking it'll be a boy... maybe I'll call him... Pete? Yeah, Pete sounds good. 

Next... Flat key signatures. Is that weird? Probably. I hate sharp key signatures... With a burning passion. Why do sharps even happen? I'd rather call a note Gb than F#.

Next, my friends. My band friends are some of the BEST people I have EVER met. We spend so much time together, I talk to them more than I talk to my family. I mean, my guard girlies are cool, but my band bros take the trophy. If I hadn't started to talk to a few guys this season, I'd probably have quit marching band. This season was fantastic, and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with any other band. I love my band friends, and I'm so thankful for them.

Have a great thanksgiving everyone!

xo Baritone babe ox

Band Camp Causes Sleep Issues.

Okay, so I think I'm going to legit tell band camp stories now...

So, this one time, at band camp, I decided to room with one of my friends who plays clarinet, her name is Lexy. Well, so my friends have a tradition of going and buying 5 hour energy drinks from a vending machine at the dorms, and then drinking them right before we decided to go to sleep, and I never did it because well, I just didn't want to. (And I didn't have money.)

So we went back to our dorm at eleven, which was when lights out were supposed to be, and I immediately went to go take a shower so I wouldn't have to take one the next morning, and whenever I got out, she was jumping off the walls. Like she wasn't hyper enough whenever we first got there that afternoon! (That afternoon she had taped the walls and hung stuff for the fire alarm, along with starting our whole "Plunger of Doom" saga by going to look at the bathroom, getting excited about the plunger, and running out with it and sticking it to one of our closet doors, and she had also scared our snare drummer, who went and told the rest of the band not to go into our room, because we were scaring her.)

So when I got out, she was sitting on the floor and she asked me if I wanted to leave the lights in the hallway on. I said yes, because 1) I really didn't care. 2) Maybe she needed it. 3) If I got up in the middle of the night, I would've tripped on my suitcase or she would've thrown goldfish (the snack) at me. And so I stayed up for another hour or so, maybe less, trying to sleep whenever she started talking about a band we both liked. We listened to them, until she got a text from the two people who were in the room beside us, Madison and Lizzy, who told us to shut up and go to sleep. And then she started whispering and was just like, "Do you wanna make friendship bracelets? I brought my stuff to make it with." and we ended up doing that till around, one in the morning (we had to be up by six), and then she started trying to teach me the cup song (remember that old song with the cups from Pitch Perfect? Yeah, that.), until three in the morning.

By now, I was really freaking exhausted. I just wanted sleep, and we had had band practice that afternoon, and we would have it again in around, six and a half hours. So I told her to lay down and go to sleep. She laid down, but she definitely did not go to sleep. She stayed quiet for around, a half a minute or so as I appreciated the silence, and then she said, "The vent is scaring me, can I sleep in your bed???" (There was a raised vent on her side of the room.) She also started throwing goldfish at me. I said, "No, Alexia, just go to sleep." But no. She had to get up and come to my side of the room and lay down at the foot of the bed, and also she brought her goldfish, and stole some of my blanket! It was around three in the morning, and she wouldn't shut up, and I needed sleep, so I just put in some headphones, and blasted the loudest music I had on my Kindle, even though in the background I definitely heard, "I can't sleep, the vent is scaring me..." Over and over again, until I finally fell asleep around a half hour later.

             Let's just say, the next day, I drank a lot of coffee at the dining hall...
Moral of the Story: Don't room with anyone that is insanely crazy at band camp. Or, uhm, something along those lines.

     ~The Flute Ninja~

Excuses...

Reader Submission ~ Problematic Percussion

This is definitely a Band Problem...

In the morning before school a couple of us hang out in the band room and the percussion players like to play the vibraphone and there's a note that is the exact same as our school bell and they are always tricking us by playing it and making us think we have to leave for class. Now we know their secret, but our band director still doesn't know that it's not the school bell as she's always yelling that the bell rang when we have like 5 minutes left.


      ~Submitted By Alysha~

Band Problems

So this one time at band camp...

Yeah, we've all heard the band camp stories.  Hell, we all have a band camp story.  "So this one time at band camp, the drum major fell off the podium."  Yeah, that's happened too.  But we want to hear your band experiences, as well as share our own experiences with you.  This blog shall be dedicated to picking apart band and figuring out what's right - and what's wrong.  And also, a few band camp stories...

There are actually some really good ones in my own personal defense!  I'm gonna save all mine for the postings other than this one, but you'll find out what goes on... We will also be sharing plain old band stories/problems with you guys (Myself and The Flute Ninja).  

There'll be the stories about the flutes (WE MUST), the clarinets, inevitable, the Saxophones, cause let's face it, my section has some pretty interesting characters...Some stories about the tubas alone, the trumpets, the other brass, the pit, and certainly the most bizarre, the battery.  

Like that one time when the quads player ran into the telephone pole that haunts our practice lot... Another time...

But yeah, back on topic.  

I'm going to introduce myself now. I'm The Sexy Saxophone! I play Alto Sax, as well as Flute! I also play Piano and Sing.  I'm a first-year Alto, 7th year flute, and a 10th-year pianist.  I can twirl flags a little, so yeah. That's about it for me.

            ~The Sexy Saxophone~

    

This is a blog dedicated to the problems and fun times of band.  Yes, marching band.  And yes, regular and jazz band as well.  You have a story? Submit it to us at thebandhasproblems@gmail.com!  We'll check it regularly and will use your post, As long as it's appropriate!   

The Flute Ninja

Okay, so this one time at band camp... 

 No, wait, I'm not telling that story again. I'll just start out by introducing myself. Hi, I'm the Flute Ninja, and I play the weapon of mass destruction that is the flute. Just warning you.

      Just kidding, if I hurt you with my flute it'd only be if you really pissed me off.

 So this blog is basically just going to be for funny band stories, etc., that we heard, lived or found. We'll hopefully be getting more admins and submissions soon, but right now we're just starting out.

Now for more of an introduction to myself, I am a fourth year marcher in a tiny high school band (but we're still pretty good if I say so myself), and I've been playing flute for about six or so years, and started both marching and concert band when I was in 7th grade. I've been playing piccolo since eighth grade, and I'm hoping to learn saxophone for jazz band one day. I also sing.

But enough about me. If you have a story or something funny about band or a cool band-related video or whatever, just submit it by commenting or emailing one of us. :) 

~The Flute Ninja